LIVING CONTENT.  YOU CAN’T OWN IT.  YOU ARE OR YOU ARE NOT.

PART I

Does feeling content with your job, your home, your life, mean that maybe you are too laid back, not ambitious enough? Absolutely not! The country needs more contentment. Do you know why Finland, Switzerland, Norway, Sweden, Denmark and the Netherlands are at the top of the list of happiest countries? Because their populations have the highest degree of contentment. In general, the majority of their people are not living the rat race, with endless hours of work. They have their needs covered and enjoy their lives. They take regular holidays. Their homes and wardrobes are simpler!  They enjoy good healthcare, education, high life expectancy, plentiful green spaces, freedom to make their own decisions, progressive taxation.  Which reminds me; Russia, Finland”s border neighbor is #80. Surprise. Afghanistan has the saddest population in the world, the least content.

Is discontent (a nagging want of more, better, bigger, different), an American thing? American greed? American opportunity, the American dream? There are of course, content people here in the U.S. along with the ones who are never satisfied, never have enough. Never fulfilled. Believing something is wrong if they are content. It’s not always about money, but how much control you have over your life. Money may be the ultimate contentment test though. Do you continuously shower yourself with more no matter how much you have? Is that what makes you feel better? Happier? When we are truly content, we are more inclined to be generous to others. But, as stated, it’s not always the money that brings us to the state of contentment.  It may make us happy for a short time to buy what we think we want but using that money to help someone else is a different kind of happiness. 

Contentment, to a degree, is being in a state of non worry while living a secure life. Not obsessing over WHAT IF, or WHY, WHY, WHY.  Or whether the grass is greener on the other side. They plant their own green grass. They have no desire to keep up with or outshine anyone. They don’t have that pressure. 

Does social media make it harder to attain contentment and avoid the pressures of this society?  It shines a spotlight on peoples’ extravagances from homes, cars, travel, clothes and whatever else money can buy. It gets very personal too as it drenches minds with ads and pictures of what they should look like and have if they want to be happy, admired, and successful. It puts unrealistic pressure on both sexes. Guys looking for that fabricated image and young women expecting guys to live up to that over the top prosperity, luxury and look.

Not that most feel this way but there is a fine line between this societal pressure spurring someone on to do better, and allowing it to instill disillusionment within themselves. 

The recent deluge of tv and internet personalities living extreme lives at young ages is a new era. How are they manifesting their astronomical financial successes? Obviously there is a demand. Once they have an audience they hook them. They have seen what happens. But is it real? Maybe. Who cares? The instant celebs are creative enough to cash in!  Go for it. 

The problem to others comes from internalizing a highly materialistic lifestyle that seems to be easily had, and trying in vain to get in on it. That can lead to dissatisfaction in one’s own job, life and abilities. But that person might actually have a better chance of reaching contentment than the ones whose lives are centered around accumulation of things. 

That gets you one thing: stuff. Lots of stuff. 

The Kardashian effect is a good example of what contentment is NOT. The reality series followed the lives of an interesting family, but mainly focused on the girls. The most well known sister was beautiful and had the largest following. She took advantage (why not?) and made millions modeling and on appearances which became known as influencing. Girls and young women wanted to be her, look like her. 

Then the discontent surfaced and boom, she had a new nose; even though she was on magazine covers because of her beauty. Even though she had millions of admirers, she didn’t accept the ethnicity, the look that gave her beauty in the first place. The younger sister is now unrecognizable but maybe that's what it took to bring them contentment. Makeup is fun and fine but it became so much more than that. How far does one go to achieve that perceived perfection? Until they’re content? Or go on forever chasing that elusive perfection?

This is not just a female problem. Boys and men unreasonably compare themselves to male models, actors, and sports figures. What some don’t keep in mind is the number of hours these men spend getting in, and staying in that kind of shape. Their jobs include looking a certain way and maybe being conditioned enough for whatever rigorous sport they play. Aspiring to those types of bodies can be a full time job, not to mention the costs of trainers etc. Some males are as vulnerable as females, falling under the spell of the marketing wizards who hawk the products that promise to deliver what they want, what they imagine themselves to be. 

Perfection is sometimes a necessity, as in some jobs it can mean life or death. Other times perfection can be a dangerous chase, a vicious circle needing everyone to believe that they are the most beautiful, the fairest in the land, the best of all time.  The key word being everyone and the point is everyone can be a doll if they pay for it. But the leads in movies and Broadway or on stage are usually not the so-called “perfect” ones. They are surrounded by the dolls but the leads have their own beauty or attractiveness, not factory line.  Sometimes perfect is boring and generic, especially when everyone is choosing from the same catalog. Dare to be real because in real life, that is what both sexes overwhelmingly prefer. 

A lot of people get caught in the web of marketing “geniuses.” They have a lot of experience playing to insecurities and instant gratification and it’s growing a generation confused about their own worth and whether their value is a direct result of embodying the “right look,” the right job, owning the most expensive things. The images conjure expectations that are often absurd, and sometimes threatening to a generations’ emotional health.

To imply that you should look a certain way (not talking fashion) and then feeling empowered is pretentious. “Fixing” physical features on a regular basis while selling beauty and “influence” to a public that envies that glamorous reality life is empowering alright. But one side is making billions and the other side is paying.  

The road to true happiness and contentment gets longer. A defense is these celebrities are empowering girls and guys because they are so successful themselves. Agreed, but if value is rooted in changing physical features to fit into fantasy doll ideals, how is that good? Empowered people are not caught up with these obsessions. They are making themselves better and richer by actualizing their own missions. And that is how to gain contentment and live a rewarding, positive, inspiring real life. That is genuine empowerment.  So what life do you really want?  And who decides?  Make your own thoughtful decisions.