GIVE IT UP OR  STICK WITH IT ?

Often it’s hard to know when to throw in the towel. You’ve invested so much time, money, physical work, mental stress and focus, not to mention the plans you made for yourself and your family. You are counting on this to work.

Perseverance has always been touted as the key to success. But the quality of persevering is put to the ultimate test when you have done everything in your power to make your dream a success and you just can’t get it over the finish line. 

It’s a little like a gambler in Vegas (or anywhere) whose emotions are soaring and plunging. Let’s call him Roscoe. Roscoe starts out with a certain sum and after a couple hours is ahead. So he keeps on going. Another win. And another, leaving him feeling invincible. As the day progresses he has a big loss. He debates whether to go on conservatively or just go in for the kill. He’s trying to appear calm although he can’t really think logically by now because he is now down to one quarter of what he started with. 

This isn’t a feel good story as Roscoe is now in the negative and using borrowed money to get back what was lost to ultimately make that day a success. The highs of winning may have clouded his decision making abilities but the fact is, he keeps borrowing more and more. Next time’s the charm. Everyone’s experienced that kind of thinking to various degrees!

Then there’s Michael who was at the same casino that day. He had a more conservative plan. He would bet, but put half of his winnings in an envelope which he would not touch! (He had more discipline than Roscoe) He stuck to his plan even though he was tempted to go for more since he was having a pretty good day. Not huge wins but he always kept in mind how frustrating it was watching his friends leave the casino in debt and trying to come up with good stories to explain to their wives why they had to sell their cars, or take out a second mortgage. He swore to himself that would never be him. 

Michael gambled but he acknowledged the risks and rewards and wasn’t willing to put his or his family’s security on the line. His experiences and common sense always reminded him that gambling wasn’t a fundraising option. His casino trips were an enjoyable way to try his luck. But he knew better than ever to depend on that luck. That’s why he was able to enjoy it. 

One of my old sayings is that “we get what we expect!”  Our minds are so powerful that they put in or or attract into our lives, whatever it is we truly and deeply expect (want for ourselves).

And that is why it is crucial that we get the expectations of ourselves in line with what we really want since some of us don’t expect much or even worse, expect the worst. That is a huge mistake. Some keep up a facade which merely hides the consuming fear of failing. 

The point of the facade is that if you need one you are putting out a false image. Much like George Santos’s resume, it is not real, but is something you want others to believe is real.

There is a difference between saying you will do something, and believing deep down that you will. 

But what if we don’t give up and continue to stick with our dream and then fail? Well, there’s an upside to that. There is no doubt (for a lot of us) that when we hit the bottom, it bounces us up. And that’s when a lot of people find what they need. How high we bounce is not physical but mental. That is when we know just how truly capable we are in this life. If you want to live your dream and you believe in it 100%, do it. If your plan is solid, do it. 

But keep in mind, if you will only act when that perfect time comes, forget it. Life is too imperfect. It can change (either way) in seconds. If you’ve done whatever preparations you can, start moving forward. Act as though you (and your business or dream) are already successful. And show that excitement everyday. Enthusiasm breeds enthusiasm. Hard work done in a welcoming environment draws people in. Think about what and who you want to draw in towards you and get out of the way. 

Whatever you do, don’t just stand there waiting for the sign. There’s nothing wrong with striving for perfection. It’s a positive trait. BUT, when that leads to a frozen state of WAITING, time and opportunities may leave you in the dust. 

No matter which step you are waiting to take; the first, the middle, or the last, believe in yourself and jump. Jump with energy but not irrationally like Roscoe, whose jump depended on luck, not research and planning. 

That story is not about equating a business venture or a life’s dream with gambling. It’s about not letting desperate feelings like fear, anxiety, or lack of preparation lead to hasty and senseless decisions.  Extreme fear (of losing what you have worked for) and high anxiety (counting on the roll of the dice) get in the way of success; along with a long list of other emotions. 

Here’s a great story to keep in mind. Jamie Siminoff. Rejected by The Sharks. Still believed. 

A billion dollars. ( Ring, Ring.)